Visa Power !

Note: Long post alert! Sorry for the long delay between my previous post and this one! This was what was occupying my attention… read on and you will find out.
No part of this post is meant to offend any person or country; it is all meant in good pure humour. If you can’t understand that, then don’t read it! 😛

Man, the amount of patience it takes to get a visa these days. Anyone who has applied for a European visa – particularly UK one – knows how tough the going gets. Writing down that form of 21 pages (yes, believe it or not) is in itself a task.

I miss those days when things were more black and white than grey. For example, when I was a kid, there were only two categories for status. It was either Single or Married. But now? Perusing through the form, I came across a mind-boggling number of options.

• Single
• Married/Civil Partner
• Unmarried Partner
• Divorced/Dissolved Partnership
• Widowed/ Surviving Civil Partner
• Separated

I kept on looking, expecting the likes of something more like:
• Live-in relationship
• Open-relationship
• Committed

Did they take a leaf out of orkut or facebook?? Just reading that form made me want to put off the task of committing myself to anyone. Man, what a range of options!!
Tell me something – I’m curious! Supposing I was bi-sexual with more than one partner of either sex, where would I categorise myself? 😛 Create a new, separate category perhaps?

Anybody who has read through that form will also have come across a wonderful page that actually is dedicated to nefarious activities. (I’m not sure of the application process for American visa; I’ve heard it’s terribly difficult too but can’t comment coz I’ve never been a direct victim!)

That page goes something along these lines:

Do you have any criminal convictions in any country?
Have you ever been charged in any country with a criminal offence for which you have not yet been tried in court?
Fair enough… they need to know if you have a criminal record. I can understand that. But the next set of questions?

Have you ever, by any means or medium, expressed views that justify or glorify terrorist violence or that may encourage others to terrorist acts or other serious criminal acts?
If I’m, say, a criminal lawyer, I may have defended criminal acts and let them get away scot-free, be it for however small or big crime. Does that make me ineligible to get a UK visa?

Have you engaged in any other activities that may indicate that you may not be considered a person of good character?
Hmm… let me think. OK this one entirely depends on perspective!! 😀

You get the drift. Pardon me for asking, but excuse me what IS this??? The first time I saw this page I stared at it long enough for my eyes to fall out in the process. I thought it came there by mistake. Surely they can’t be serious about this! Apparently they were and still are. Although the purpose behind it is quite lost on me. I don’t know the last time a terrorist applied for visa and actually admitted that yes he is planning to blow sky-high the Buckingham Palace! 😛

Not to mention the waiting time and the number of checks it takes to get your application through.

It took more than a month and a half to gather all the documents required. I can understand the usual stuff like identity proof, proof my having studied in the UK and all that. They also required financial support proof… since my dad has a hand in that, all his documents including his IT returns, salary statements etc. were required. The worst was with the bank statements. Apparently, apart from a letter from the bank confirming my account with them the UK Commission also needed 15 MONTHS of bank statements to confirm my bank balance. Huh??? Whoever keeps track record of all that? Oof!
Besides all this, also required was a signed affidavit from my dad who would confirm that he was willing to support me financially, since he and I have a joint a/c in the bank.
Well, what were they thinking? That I blackmailed my dad at gun point to get the bank statements and ran off with them to the High Commisson? Yeesh!

Now after finally collecting all that paraphernalia, I finally arrived at the VFS (Visa Facilitation Service) Centre. I had talked previously with the security guards there who told me to arrive by 6.30am so that I would be at the beginning of the queue by the time the VFS opened at 8am. Not even Mother Earth can wake me up at the unearthly hour of 6.30am. So I pooh-poohed the idea, and finally reached by 7.10am. Yeehaw! I was first in line! There was no one around!

And then began the wait in the line until 8am. At 7.55am, we were let inside one by one.
Guard 1: Madam, aap ke saath koi electronic item hai?
Me: Nothing other than the mobile phone
Guard 2: Usko aap zaroor switch off kijiye. Aur kuch hain? Jaise ki pen drive, walkman, iPod…?
Me: Haan, pen drive hain hand bag mein…
Guard 1: Toh phir aap please idhar side mein khadi ho jayiye. Aap ko is locker mein usko deposit karna hoga! Token number diya jayega!

Grumbling to myself, I stood to the side and let them do their thing. There goes my place in the queue thanks to having one stupid pen drive in my bag. I mean, what did they think I would do with it? Brandish it like a pen knife and attack someone?

After depositing in my locker and collecting my token, I went inside. By then 3-4 people had already gone in ahead of me. Finally my number was called and I presented my documents to the girl at the counter. Everything went fine until the girl came to see the affidavit.

Girl rep: You have got here an affidavit from your father only?
Me: Yes.
Duh! Can’t you SEE, woman?!
Girl: But it says here you have a joint bank account with your dad and grandmother. Where is the letter from her?
Me: My grandmother is 90 years old. She lives with us. The account is primarily my dad’s… he has just added my grandmother’s name to it for namesake.
Girl: Maybe. But we need a letter from her also, all the same. The High Commission requires letter from everyone and anyone who is part of that bank a/c.
Me (staring at her in dismay): But my grandmother has gone to Kerala on vacation to stay with my aunt! I need to submit my visa application today!
Girl: Sorry! (looking anything but)
Aaarrgh! You stupid woman! My grandmother is NOT here! What do you think I should do… make an affidavit today itself, get it attested, fly my grandma back in a helicopter in time to sign it and submit the application before 5pm today??? Jeez!

The girl was beginning to look slightly alarmed with the myriad of emotions flitting across my face.
Girl: I can take in your application without the letter of course. But I was just stating the possibility…
Me: That won’t be necessary.
I took a deep breath, gave her a tight smile and went outside with my application.

Now don’t ask me to recite how I managed to handle that…it will run into another post. I managed, and was able to submit my application soon after.
I was being extra careful though. I was told it would take upto 15 working days for my passport to reach back. I added another extra week, just to be sure, and sent in my passport on 5th June, with my departure date set tentatively for 28th June. I had sent a tentative booking for my stay there as from 28 June to 6 July. I was expected to receive the passport by (upper limit) 26 June. I sat twiddling my thumbs.

28 June came and went. No sign of passport. Time to worry! Where was the damned thing? I sent emails after emails asking about the status of my passport. No response. Apparently the risk of security lapse did not permit them to report anything on the passport once it was delivered to the High Commission. Grrr…growl! So what was I supposed to do until then? Chew my nails down to the knuckle perhaps?

The next week moved in agonising slow motion. I had hopes till 6 July. Departure date was already past. The dates meant for initial stay in UK were also passing by, but there was still time. Everyday slowly waltzed passed me. Towards the end of the week, I had given up all hope. OG and vimmuuu became my guidance counsellors telling me to calm down, but to no avail. I hate leaving loopholes… and this was one loophole I hadn’t overseen – delay from THEIR side!

And then out of the blue, I got an automated sms on July 2nd telling me to come and collect my passport from the VFS. I called them up to find out the status, only to be informed that it was a normal message sent irrespective of rejection or approval of the visa. Wow! Now that’s helpful alright!
By the next evening, I had reached the VFS centre, looking like a zombie. My token number was the 7th, with 6 people before, all moving seemingly in slow motion. I couldn’t have been more tense if I had been a guy and my wife had been taken to the labour room!!! Sheesh! 😛 This was even worse than waiting for a baby!

By then I had convinced myself to think of new plans to do if it had been rejected. Finally my turn came and I presented my token. The guy at the counter smiled and gave me back a huge packet… apparently containing all the documents I had used to apply with, including my bank statements, university documents and whatnot.
They rejected everything!!! I thought in panic.
I gave the guy a dirty look. He looked at me puzzled. Then I realised he wasn’t really to blame and passed him a feeble smile. Now it was his turn to give me a dirty look and quickly focused his attention on the next person.

Great! Everyone hates me! I sighed.
I couldn’t stand the suspense anymore. I placed the packet on a nearby table, tore it open gingerly and took out the passport with shaky hands, expecting a “REJECTED” stamp seal on it. The rest seemed to happen in slow motion. My fingers turned the page, incidentally landing on the page of the visa. I stared into the face of my 2 year UK work permit smiling at me.
I blinked twice.
And stared
And stared some more.
And then let out a whoop of joy, forgetting my surroundings!! An old lady walking into the room gave a yelp of fear and jumped away from me as if I were a mad dog. I flushed and looked around the room, only to realise everyone giving me amused glances. I picked my packet and ran (read: hopped, skipped and jumped) out of there as fast as I could. Yeehaw! 😀

I repeat: In vimmuuu’s words: danganaaka dandanaaka! Or dhiren’s words: dhinchak dhinchak! LOL

Lesson learnt? Whatever will be, will be. Worrying about it or not, doesn’t really make a difference in the outcome except killing one’s own peace of mind 😛

P.S.: What’s that? When do I leave??
Now that’s a different story altogether! Not immediately anyway. Will definitely let you know though! 🙂

P.P.S: The above pictures in the post are all taken off Google