Matrimonial Mish-mashes - The Grand Finale

For all of you who have followed the MM series through all the episodes…THANK YOU for being  part of my journey with your support and kind words. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed narrating it

The Undakanni has at last found her Undakannan!

I have devised a slightly different ending for MM series – the entire series which had a comic angle, comes to a sober climax. Here you go!

Yes It’s quite a long  post. Hope you like it.

Dearest Appoopan,

I still can’t believe it is going to turn two whole years since you left. (Have you really left? That is another debate altogether…)

Time has flown. And my only regret is that you are not around today to witness your greatest dream come true…your grand-daughter getting engaged and later married to the one she loves.

You are the one who always advocated love marriages. If you could ever read this blog, you’d know how much I tried finding a guy myself…much to the amusement and entertainment of my blog buddies who have enjoyed reading my escapades. Over and over again like this and this, I’d get shot down by guys not wanting me…or either wanting me as ONLY a friend, or worse, only for a night perhaps.

And I had wanted to ask you the one important question. You told me what all to look out for in a guy – you, with your priceless wisdom of having walked the earth for 80 odd years. But….

You never told me where to find him.

And I had no clue. Kept bumping into all sorts of guys and kept wondering…is this him? Nah….!

But you always knew, didn’t you?

Knew that he would come on his own; all I had to do was recognize him…

Don’t you want to know how it all happened?

His proposal had come through a common friend of my dad’s…the poor chap happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time…er…right place at the right time! So with the proposal proceeding and the 2 families all set to meet a fortnight later, he called me up one evening. I was packing my bags ready to head to Chandigarh for my project the next day. He had taken the initiative of getting my number and trying to know the girl before meeting her, which had earned him brownie points already, but of course I did not tell him that yet!

The initial conversation – intended to last for maybe 15-20 minutes, lasted for nearly an hour and a half!! Maybe that was just an indication of what was to follow. But being the skeptic that I am, I kept myself grounded and took it casually. Not sure what I spoke to him that day – I honestly don’t remember – but his interest was piqued. He kept smsing and calling up frequently over the next few days, but I remained relatively aloof and did not respond as much. Not really playing hard to get – I am pretty bad with that – but just being practical and not raising hopes unnecessarily.

Plus I had not taken to him yet. I remember during my second or third day of knowing him, I sent him an sms saying ‘what’s up?’. And he replied saying, ‘the ceiling!’. I remembering shrieking and running to my colleague in office as well as my other friend about how I won’t be able to live with his jokes!! [Today I cannot live without them, that’s a different thing altogether.] That’s the kind of rocky start we had.

I wanted to take my time and then decide…the whole idea of deciding a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to guy just days after meeting him was a concept I never understood. I was almost on the track of thinking of about how to say no without hurting the guy! Then one weekend happened where I was out at a party. I was staying over at a friend’s house that night. The party proceeded way beyond usual time limits. Midnight became 1am, became 2am, then 3am. As luck would have it, a heavy glass fell on my foot and I was out of action for the rest of the night. Fortunately did not fracture it but the pain was bad enough for me not to be able to even MOVE and I sat in one corner with a frown while people continued to eat, drink and dance.

At 3am, as if somebody poked him awake, a message came onto my cell. It was an apologetic sms saying he fell asleep before he could respond to my sms that I sent earlier in the night. I gave an amused smile and replied that he could take his time and reply aaram se in the morning and that I won’t put a gun to his head to make him wake up and reply to me at 3am. Seeing my reply sms right away, he was instantly awake. The smses went back and forth after that.

“What are you doing awake at this time?”

“I am out at a friend’s party. What about you?”

“Oh I just woke up, saw your sms and replied.”

“No problem, I can catch you later. Go back to sleep.”

Not a chance. He stayed awake. I insisted thrice. But he refused to budge. And for the rest of the night, he kept me company with non-stop smses and jokes.…from 3am till 6am when the party got over and everyone finally left. Would I have done the same thing for him if roles were reversed? I don’t know…

As I left, something went ‘ping’ within me. I am happy with my life…I’ve had everything to be thankful for…education, travel, job, friends, family, hobbies, my blog and blog buddies…and yet something was missing. It was during my stint in London that the point was driven home.

“What is the point of triumph if you don’t have anyone to share it with?”

And when I left the party that night, I realised I was no longer lonely. Just like that. Someone had silently slipped in and fit himself as the final part of the jigsaw puzzle. However I still was not willing to accept it then.

Over the next one week, as we got to know each other more through calls, smses, emails and chat, I realised that his outlook towards life and a lot of the way he was…was surprisingly similar to what I was looking for. There was a straightforwardness to his talk that was refreshing. By the time it got towards the day we were supposed to meet I found myself wanting this to work. But what if we met each other and realised we don’t like what we see? I was tense regarding the same. And to make matters worse, he scared me saying I would get a shock when I saw him. OMG! Would he weight 150 kgs? Was he bald? He sounded nice on the phone but was a poor conversationalist face-to-face? What what what?? I went nuts trying to figure it out.

And…nothing. The meeting went off well. Families liked each other. And they left the decision to us. We were given two days to decide. I asked for one more week. I had no reasons to say no to him till then, but I needed to be more sure. One more week while I was in Chandigarh, the conversations continued. The travel drained me because each weekend I’d travel from Chandigarh to Delhi, then Delhi to Mumbai/Bangalore/Chennai and then to Cochin/Trivandrum…and then backwards. It was literally two ends of the country! But in the end it was all worth it. At the end of the third week I made him meet my mother and step-dad as well who gave their approval (he had met only my dad and step-mom iniitally). And then finally he proposed to me, I said yes. Both at our own risk, of course!

Every rule you taught me, is true. I am so glad to have it reinforced. It would have killed me to know that all that I believed in was a farce.

Somewhere along he reminds me…not of you…but of your presence. Not because he is anything similar to your character or looks in any way. But the way in which you understood me and supported me…that was the greatest thing I missed once you departed. I remember the faith you always had in me. I remember while I was in my 12th class…I used to have my fair share of guy buddies being the tomboy that I am, and I used to come home and tell you all about it, and we used to share a good laugh. Remember how somebody saw me and a couple of guy classmates of mine at a coffee shop and immediately ran to report that to you? That being the age before mobile phones, and a last mintue plan that was made, I could not inform you of it beforehand. A group of us friends had just headed out for a coffee after school. But you could have easily mistaken the whole situation and blown it out of proportion. Instead, you calmly kept down the newspaper you were reading and smiled through your spectacles at the person who brought you the news…and simply said: My granddaughter, her friends, her outing, her business. Why is it any of your concern? She can very well take care of herself. She’ll be fine.

Not your exact words, of course. But something to this effect. The critic was silenced.
When I later came to know of the incident, I was touched. “She is my girl, I know her, we have that understanding, you butt out.” The message was clear. And with your departure, the world became a much much more lonely place to live in.

But now I know you showered your blessings and guided me to him. We are still getting to know each other…but I know I am safe with him. (What? You’re asking…But is he safe with me?? * Wicked grin *  Oops you know me too well…er…no no I promise to be nice to him…I’LL TRY!! Seriously! )

Do you know he laughed the loudest while reading the entire Matrmonial Mish-mashes series? Do you know he loves the fact that I write my blog and encourages me to do so?

Thought you’d be happy to know…

[Oh, and not only he, but some of his friends, his sister and some of HER friends also apparently read the blog. Goddammit, now I have to censor everything!!    LOL ]

And you were right. (Of course you always are.) You told me that when the right one comes along, he’d be willing to wait for me. He showed me solutions instead of problems. Many guys whom I met before that…every guy claimed to see the problem. “I am ok with your parents’ divorce, but my parents aren’t, so I can’t marry you.” Classic excuse. And to think, I almost believed it at one point in time! Stupid me.

Today I know it just translates into the fact that either he did not love me enough to stand up for me, or that he did not have the guts to do so, or BOTH. As simple as that. Well…to each his own. No hard feelings though!

Today…we seek your blessings we get engaged – 2 days short of your 2nd death anniversary. Death is of course a very superficial word…you are always alive in my heart. And watching and guiding me from above. I know you are seeing everything and smiling.

The journey has just begun. Wish me luck!

Oh wait…you already sent me my luck. Now I’m marrying him! Cheers!

Always yours,

Your loving girl.