Life has a way of teaching you these things unexpectedly. That is why they call experience the hardest teacher – she gives the test first and then the lesson.
Ultimately the extent of influence of a person does not lie in the wealth he has amassed or the amount of flamboyance he lived with. It is about the legacy and values he leaves behind for others to follow…
18 Jan 2010
To my dearest grandfather,
This 18th, it will turn a year since you left your physical presence in the world below and left for your heavenly abode. Hard to believe that a year has flown by but it has. I can think of no better tribute than to start this year’s first post about the reason I started blogging…
I have never imagined what a day without you would be like. I have never wanted to. And yet here I am, living on, moving on, stumbling along the path of life – not doing too badly – and yet wondering at every corner/decision whether you’d have approved or not.
The last one year since your departure has been tumultous for me. I was stumbling in the dark, crying out for help, trying to find a kind gesture or a support system that could pull me through. And over time I realised that although your friends and family can be there for you, you have to learn to heal yourself. Perhaps today… I can say with some convinction… that I have…or atleast am starting to.
Life is the biggest teacher. There comes a day when you stop wondering how to convince others… as long as you can convince yourself, your journey will always continue. No the problems won’t stop… but you will know why you decided to say/do something the way you did and stand by your convinctions.
There are times I wish I could meet up with you just once. There is so much I want to tell you…. The problems I faced after you left… how I overcame them… who all I have in my life now…. that I’ve restarted writing exactly as you had wished… how I am more at peace with myself after ages because I’ve learnt the difference between the things that can be changed and those that cannot be. Maybe you are already seeing it. How I wish I knew…
I have often wondered where you are. Are you watching me over me like a guardian angel? Or are you at peace where you are, having found eternal nirvana? I do not know. But one thing is for sure … wherever you are today, I hope you are far more at peace than you were when you used to be in your earthly abode. I will live without having you around me… what is more important is that you are at peace, wherever you may be. Because that is what you have taught me … when you love someone, his/her happiness is what matters over what YOU want for that person.
That is the biggest wealth you left behind for me. The convictions and beliefs you instilled in me over time, to make me into who I am today. I may falter, but I won’t stop. I will continue to seek and find. And I will live… long enough to make sure I grow to some who you wanted me to be… whom you would have been proud to see me become.
Wishing you eternal peace, my first love and my pillar of strength. I will miss you… always…
Eternally yours,
A piece of your heart.
P.S.: I’ve disabled comments on this one. Sorry guys. I hope you will understand…
You have said everything that your grandfather would want to hear
May he rest in peace.
[...] I am far more at peace now than I’ve ever been in recent times. Especially since the first one year since you left, where I struggled to find my foothold and figure out where I am headed. You sent someone to me [...]
[...] I am far more at peace now than I’ve ever been in recent times. Especially since the first one year since you left, where I struggled to find my foothold and figure out where I am headed. You sent someone to me [...]
[...] what I have been through…. The shock of seeing you leave without warning, the initial days of my struggle to live in a world without you, wondering why you left without seeing me safely in someone’s [...]