Statutory warning: Every word of this post is true and not made up. There is some strong adult content here and kids are advised to stay far far away from this post. However it maybe perceived as boring by non-animal lovers. Proceed at your own risk.
These days I’ve been staying up almost every night for a guy. And it’s not even for the right reasons!
I have taken up the duty of taking care of him from other females who dare to encroach upon our territory… the vicious monsters. They’ve been visiting him from all corners and I want to keep my sweetie safe. I’ve been head over heels for him ever since I set my eyes on him.
OK, wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. In case you’re wondering who I’m talking about, take a look here.
He’s my 2 year old sweetheart… it was love at first sight when he was brought to my house around 2 months old. He stared at me with his beady eyes, opened his mouth with a cute ‘meow’ and I fell hook, line and sinker for him. Of course, it helps that pets are my weakness – er, ONE of my weaknesses! We named him Sunny – partly because of his colour and the other hoping he’d be the sunshine of our lives.
But now that he is mature enough to have his own kids, or atleast his own mate, it is truly unfortunate that he has been having the worst possible luck regarding it. You see, we already had a feline named Lucky [see pic] who was 2 years old when he entered the house. Now Lucky took to Sunny very fast and looked after him like a son. She cared for him like a baby and remained very protective of him. Now the moment puberty set in, Sunny like any other tom-cat, started hitting on Lucky. Now the self-righteous female wouldn’t hear of it! Incestuous beast! She wouldn’t have to do anything with him! No, I am NOT kidding you!! She hasn’t once paid attention to him after that and refuses to be in the same room as him. Hell hath no fury like a woman..er… betrayed I guess?
Cats are supposed to have nine lives. Sunny has used up three of it already by falling off our 2nd floor balcony thrice after drooling over other females (cats of course!) near the house and he STILL emerged unscathed. Man, talk about persistence! Humans could learn a thing or two from that! Hmm…or probably it’s height of desperation!
So as of now both the cats in our house were born as virgins and from the looks of it, are likely to live and die the same way!
Coming back to the present, Sunny, who sleeps on the balcony at night, has been getting nocturnal visitors. At first we thought it was some female company but we were only partly right. But then later we realised that behind a female kitty, there is also a male making his rounds there. Cat fights (and I do mean the literal ones with growling and hissing and fur flying) have been taking palce regularly at night and we have all been awakened by that more than once. So now I have been made temporary gurkha by my considerate family to ward off pesky outside nuisances from Sunny, because apparently at the end of the cat fights, he comes out literally something like the cat dragged in! Poor him!
Hmm wait a minute…both a tom-cat and a kitty together coming in search of him? Is it that the tom-cat’s girlfriend is attracted to Sunny thus he sees Sunny as competition? I have no idea. I sure hope he ain’t bisexual! Do cats have such orientation anyway?
New twist in the tale: now that the new cats have started to make their appearance, Lucky has to started realise her ex-love…er….son? is in demand after all and has started paying more attention to him.
And they say Hindi movie love stories have all the drama! This one would beat them all hollow! I am still wondering where this complicated feline story will lead to and whether it will have a happily ever after setting at all! You know what… maybe I should sell my idea to Yash Chopra! Or maybe even the script-writers of The Bold and The Beautiful … befitting for a soap opera in which you are not sure who is paired with who anymore! What say, guys n gals?